Bullying in Preschool: What Parents Need to Know

For many parents, the idea of their child coming home from school upset about a bully—or exhibiting bullying behaviors themselves—is their worst nightmare. 

In young children, this bullying often goes unnoticed or is mistaken for typical childhood behavior. This can be especially dangerous, as bullying in preschool can be damaging to a child's self-esteem and emotional well-being in the long run. Here’s how you can identify, respond to, and prevent bullying to support your child in a nurturing, safe environment.

A young girl is sitting on the steps outside of a school while 3 other children are pointing at her. She has experienced bullying in preschool.

Understanding Bullying in Preschool

Bullying in preschool may take the form of physical aggression (like hitting or pushing), verbal hostility (such as name-calling), or relational aggression (excluding others from group play). Although these behaviors may sometimes appear as typical social development, repeated actions that cause distress or hurt are forms of bullying. 

Understanding the dynamics of bullying in early childhood helps parents and educators create safer environments and offer the support young children need.

Recognizing Bullying

Recognizing the signs of bullying can be challenging, as young children may not always communicate their struggles. Here are some indicators:

Watch for signs of anxiety, fear, or withdrawal, which may signal that your child is experiencing bullying in preschool.

If your child frequently talks about being left out or seems to avoid certain peers, they may be feeling the effects of relational bullying.

Young children experiencing bullying in preschool might show physical signs of distress, such as stomachaches, or may display emotional responses like crying or anger.

The Effects of Bullying in Preschool

Bullying in preschool can have a significant impact on a child's emotional, social, and cognitive development. While young children may not fully understand the implications of bullying, those on the receiving end can experience lasting effects.

Emotional Distress

Bullying often leads to feelings of sadness, anxiety, and low self-esteem. For preschoolers, being excluded, teased, or physically harmed can be deeply unsettling, affecting their overall sense of safety and happiness.

Social Withdrawal

A child experiencing bullying may begin to withdraw from group activities, avoid interacting with other children, or show reluctance to attend school. This can limit their ability to develop healthy social skills and form friendships.

Development of Negative Self-Perception

Bullying can make young children feel unworthy or unlikeable. Over time, these feelings can erode their self-confidence and self-worth, making it more challenging for them to engage positively with others.

Potential Impact on Academic Engagement

Preschool children who experience bullying might become less focused or enthusiastic about learning. This shift can affect their readiness for school and influence their future attitude toward education.

Responding to Bullying

When a child experiences bullying, a thoughtful and supportive response can make a world of difference. Responding with empathy and understanding reassures your child that they are loved and supported.

Encourage your child to share their feelings by asking open-ended questions. Let them know it’s okay to talk about what’s bothering them.

Validate your child’s emotions, making it clear that bullying is never their fault, and reassure your child that you will help them. Calm and caring conversations with your child can help them feel loved, supported, and understood.



Keep a record of bullying incidents to identify patterns and support conversations with teachers or administrators.

Notify preschool staff of any incidents and work with them to address the bullying, creating a supportive environment for your child.

Taking Action to Stop Bullying

Stopping bullying often requires collaboration between parents, teachers, and administrators. Taking proactive steps can prevent bullying from escalating and support children in developing healthy social skills.

Work With the Teacher

Discuss the situation with your child’s teacher and create a plan to help stop the bullying. Together, you can develop strategies that ensure your child feels safe and supported.

Teach Assertive Communication

Encourage your child to use “I” statements, like “I feel upset when…” to express their feelings without sounding accusatory.

Practice Coping Strategies

Show your child ways to handle uncomfortable interactions, like finding a trusted adult, practicing deep breathing, or calmly walking away from a bully.

Role-Play Scenarios

Practice positive social interactions and responses with your child, helping them build confidence in standing up for themselves or responding with kindness.

Preventing Bullying

It’s also important to guide children in developing empathy and kindness, helping prevent aggressive or exclusionary behavior.

Model Kind Behavior

Children are observant and often mimic the actions of adults around them. Modeling kind behavior can be one of the most effective ways to teach empathy and kindness. Show respect, patience, and empathy in your interactions with others, whether it’s saying "thank you" to a server, offering a helping hand to a neighbor, or resolving conflicts calmly. 

When children see adults acting kindly and respectfully, they learn that these behaviors are valued and expected. You can also involve them in small acts of kindness, such as sharing, helping others, or volunteering, to make empathy a natural part of their day-to-day experiences.

Encourage Inclusive Play

Encouraging your child to play with a variety of peers helps them build diverse social skills and teaches them the value of inclusion. By exposing them to children from different backgrounds, abilities, and interests, they learn to appreciate differences and practice empathy. Inclusive play can be fostered by setting up group activities or play scenarios that require teamwork, such as building a block tower together or engaging in a cooperative game. When children learn to be inclusive and appreciate different personalities, they’re less likely to develop exclusionary habits and are more likely to be empathetic friends.

Schedule Playdates

Playdates provide a structured setting where children can practice social skills and learn mutual respect. In a smaller, controlled environment, children can engage in one-on-one interactions, giving them more time to connect and practice sharing, taking turns, and resolving minor conflicts. As they interact, gently guide them on how to handle situations with kindness, like encouraging them to ask politely if they can borrow a toy or helping them say “thank you” and “please.” By practicing these skills in playdate settings, children build confidence in their social abilities and learn how to foster positive, respectful relationships.

Use Books and Stories

Books and stories are excellent tools for teaching empathy, kindness, and inclusion, as they allow children to see situations from multiple perspectives. Choose age-appropriate books that tell stories of kindness, friendship, or understanding differences, then discuss the characters’ actions and feelings with your child. You can ask questions like, “How do you think that character felt?” or “What could they have done differently to be kind?” 

Engaging children in storytelling helps them connect with the emotions of others and think about how their own actions might impact those around them. Repeatedly hearing messages about kindness and empathy reinforces these values and makes them more likely to put them into practice. 

Supporting Your Child’s Emotional Well-being

Building a secure emotional foundation helps your child feel valued, understood, and more resilient when faced with social challenges.

  • Create a Safe, Loving Environment: A nurturing home is crucial to help children feel safe and secure.
  • Practice Empathy Together:Help your child understand the emotions of others by asking them how they think others might feel in various situations.
  • Encourage Open Communication: Let your child know they can always come to you with their feelings, whether they are happy, sad, or confused.
  • Celebrate Kindness: Reinforce and reward positive behavior by acknowledging acts of kindness or sharing with praise.

Getting Help and Resources for Bullying

Support and guidance are available to help address bullying, whether your child is affected by it directly or indirectly.

Primary Beginnings staff are here to help address bullying concerns and provide guidance for both children and families.



National organizations, such as the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, offer resources for parents and caregivers to address bullying. Utilize online resources and support groups to stay informed and connected.

If your child displays signs of anxiety or emotional distress, consider consulting a child psychologist or counselor who specializes in early childhood development.

Contact Primary Beginnings in Raleigh Where Bullying Is Not Tolerated

At Primary Beginnings, bullying in preschool is not tolerated. We prioritize creating a positive and inclusive environment where every child can feel safe and valued. If you have concerns about bullying or want to learn more about how we foster a supportive atmosphere for young learners, please reach out to us at   919-790-6888 or fill out the form below. We’re here to work together with you to make your child’s preschool experience enriching, safe, and empowering.

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